Long Lost Coffee Maker

Look at this magnificent coffee maker. Isn't it a beaut? It's a DeLonghi Gran Dama. It makes dark, rich coffee by the cup, freshly ground and brewed on command. It also makes espresso, cappuccino and lattes with the same ease.

We bought the thing at Williams-Sonoma last April and have loved every minute of it. At first, I had trouble justifying the expense because it seemed almost immoral to pay so much for a coffee maker, but I got over that. Good coffee is important. But then in early February, it stopped working, and through a series of phone calls to customer service, I was instructed to ship it to a certain repair shop in New York. They specialize in fixing this kind of coffee maker, apparently.

So, I called the shop in New York, and they gave me specific instructions as to how to ship the thing so it will arrive in one piece. They said to take it to a UPS store and have them pack it up carefully. I did just that and shipped it off. We had lost the receipt from Williams-Sonoma, but the store headquarters was good about digging it up and emailing a pdf. We sent the pdf to DeLonghi, who then said they'd contact the repair shop and let them know the machine was under warranty.

Since then, I have called the shop so many times, I practically feel like I'm calling home when I punch in the numbers, and I expect my mother to answer at the other end. But it never is my mother on the end. Instead, it's always a butt-scratching, stereotypical New York repairmen from a Neil Simon play who passes the phone around yelling things like, "Hey Bob, talk to the lady!" followed by, "I AM talkin' to the lady!" They call me dear and sweetie, and they assure me they'll fix the machine.

Two weeks ago, they said I'd have it within a week, but just yesterday, I called, and they made me tell my story from scratch. "Did you take it to a UPS Store, dear?" "Did we call and give you an amount for repairs ($629!), dear?" They had me email the receipt again, and then I had to have DeLonghi contact them one more time to give them warranty approval. But Bob, or whoever, said the frame was cracked, and he thinks that may not be covered by the warranty. He's suggesting UPS may not have packed it as carefully as they should.

So, I said to Bob, or whoever, "I don't really care. I just want the damn thing back." I wanted to say, "And if you call me 'dear' just one more time, and if you pass my paperwork to some other slob in the shop just one more time, and if you lie to me about the state of my coffee maker JUST ONE MORE TIME, YOU MUMBLING NEANDERTHAL......" But I need them to fix my treasured coffee maker and return it to me in one piece. I've decided to wait until it arrives on my doorstep and makes me a cup of delightful brew before I tell them what I really think about them and their repair shop. And I won't mind telling everyone in blogville and on Facebook after that.

Phew. I feel just a little better now.