I thought about posting my column here in full, but if I didn't direct you toward my local newspaper's online version of it, then you'd miss out on the delicious comments. So, here is what I've written in today's edition of Small Town Newspaper.
It's good to be a nice person--to say nice things, to do nice things, to write nice things--but I declare an end to the use of the word nice. Nice is what you say when you can't think of any other adjective. Someone shows you a picture of their back yard--that's nice. Someone tells you about their afternoon adventure--that's nice. Or someone describes their childhood in great detail and sometimes with painstaking effort--that's nice. It's a lazy word, and it's non-descriptive. Nice is like mashed potatoes with noodles and chicken gravy all in a big pile on one plate with some canned corn for garnish. Everything is the same color and texture and base substance--starch (this is a favorite Amish dish). Nice is like a partly cloudy day in April when outside feels like inside, and you can't tell a difference between the lighting and the temperature of your living room and the lighting and temperature of your front yard. Nice is a glass of lukewarm water. ...
Comments
These people are allowed GUNS?
I'm amazed they're allowed out of the rubber room!
Keep up your good work as the tiny voice of intelligent America.