Skip to main content

Mother's Day, Because Being a Mother Is Not for the Faint of Heart

Here is my opinion column in today's edition of Small Newspaper. I've included this link as well, in case someone leaves an online comment calling me names or something. I don't expect much feedback today, but you can never tell what gets people riled.


Mother’s Day is celebrated all over the world on days significant to particular cultures, but in the United States, it’s held on the second Sunday in May because of the tireless passion of one woman, Anna Jarvis, who was driven by the direct influence of her mother.

Jarvis was the daughter of an outspoken pacifist and social activist, Anna Reeves Jarvis, who organized women during the Civil War. Her group worked with local churches to combat poverty and poor sanitation, and they served as nurses to both Union and Confederate soldiers. As a popular speaker and lecturer, the elder Jarvis encouraged audiences to acknowledge a special day honoring mothers as a way to bring divided families together after the war. When she died on the second Sunday of May in 1907, her daughter began a national campaign for an official mother’s day.

Jarvis sponsored the first observance on May 10 the following year in her hometown of Grafton, West Va., and after some years of persistent urging, President Wilson declared an official Mother’s Day to be held on the second Sunday in May.

The day became a commercialized gift-giving occasion, as days of this nature are prone to doing, and the retail focus led Jarvis to later regret ever pushing for the holiday. She once said those responsible for turning Mother’s Day into an occasion for profit “would take the coppers off a dead mother’s eyes.” It wasn’t about sending cards and flowers and candy, as she understood it. It was about taking time to seriously honor mothers as powerhouses of considerable influence outside the sphere of their own homes.

While the job of motherhood can seem crucial in its immediate details, and acknowledging our mothers with a token of gratitude is important, I see her point. It’s a treat to be honored as a mother on a special day, but it’s just as important to recognize and appreciate the influence all mothers have beyond the care and feeding of their individual children.

Some of the most famous and infamous people in history were greatly affected by their mothers, for good and for ill, and the results were lasting ones. Genghis Kahn comes to mind as an historic figure whose mother shaped his worldview in a way that led him to form a vast empire spanning from sea to sea. Enemies abandoned Hoelun and her young children in the wilderness, leaving the family to survive by their wits or die trying. She raised her children for the sole purpose of exacting revenge, and when her fiercest son followed her lead, she remained his close advisor well into her old age.

Zerelda Cole approached mothering in a similar fashion, although her sons didn’t grow to rule throughout Asia and Europe. They became Frank and Jesse James instead, and they terrorized the countryside as notorious bandits; with their mother covering their tracks, providing alibis and threatening witnesses against them, saying, “No mother had better sons.”

In contrast, it took a woman before her time to give us someone like Amelia Earhart. Amy Otis was her adventuresome mother, claiming to be the first woman to climb Pike’s Peak and allowing her daughters to play at “boys” games and to wear controversial bloomers so they could freely run and jump and not be held too closely to the ground. As a feminist and a suffragette, Julia Watson fought the same social restrictions and became the first woman in the States with a driver’s license, and she raised her daughter, Julia Child, to have just such a taste for life.

Strong mothers have shaped world history by influencing society in far-reaching ways, demonstrating their power on a global scale and giving us saints and sinners alike in the process. While Anna Jarvis may have been disappointed at watching her serious day become trivialized with small gifts she considered trifles, she is now one in a long line of people noticeably influenced by just such a mother.

How my own mothering skills and those of my mother may be seen as history unfolds is still in question, but I am humbled to know the echo of my actions and words may reverberate through the generations. The same is true for fathers, but that’s a subject for another day.

Comments

savannah said…
when our children were young, i received all the handmade mother's day gifts and cards that grammar school children make, but the mother's day celebrations were for their GRANDMOTHERS and GREAT-GRANDMOTHERS and we all made that party happen. xoxoxox

(i really hate hallmark holidays.)
dive said…
This is a wonderful Mother's Day article, Robyn, and probably the only one ever written that is not sickeningly dripping with gallons of corn syrup.
So nice to see the dark side get a look in, too. Some mothers you really would not want, so reading about them makes me even more grateful for the one I've got.
Excellent stuff!
Oh, and belated Happy Mother's Day!

Popular posts from this blog

No More Mr. Nice Guy

It's good to be a nice person--to say nice things, to do nice things, to write nice things--but I declare an end to the use of the word nice. Nice is what you say when you can't think of any other adjective. Someone shows you a picture of their back yard--that's nice. Someone tells you about their afternoon adventure--that's nice. Or someone describes their childhood in great detail and sometimes with painstaking effort--that's nice. It's a lazy word, and it's non-descriptive. Nice is like mashed potatoes with noodles and chicken gravy all in a big pile on one plate with some canned corn for garnish. Everything is the same color and texture and base substance--starch (this is a favorite Amish dish). Nice is like a partly cloudy day in April when outside feels like inside, and you can't tell a difference between the lighting and the temperature of your living room and the lighting and temperature of your front yard. Nice is a glass of lukewarm water. ...

An Offending Pile

So, I'm standing in my living room letting my mind wander for a minute or two as I stare out the window and watch the day go by, and I see my neighbors walking their dogs down the street. They are nice neighbors who are always friendly and responsible with their property. That is to say they aren't like the other neighbors who heap rubbish behind their house like Ma and Pa Kettle and let their dogs bark for thirty minutes at a time . Anyway, I see the nice people walking their dogs, a big golden retriever who is as sweet as can be and as dumb as a post—he once ate a sock and nearly died before it was surgically removed—and a new golden retriever puppy. Then I see Neighbor Wife suddenly run down the street with the big dog. Then I see Neighbor Husband stopped in front of my house with the puppy on its leash. And then I see the puppy taking a huge dump in my grass. Let me tell you, that is not done in this town unless the dog owner has a plastic bag handy and is ready to pick up ...

Am I Stupid, or What?

In two weeks, I will climb up into a charter bus, take my assigned seat, and ride 22 hours straight to Orlando, Florida. I will be a chaperon with the high school marching band, which will perform at Disney's Magic Kingdom--me and 180 people on four big buses for seven days. We will travel together, eat together, play together, fall down exhausted together--and after 22 hours, I suspect stink to high heaven together. Because of the crazy schedule, we will leave Ohio at 6 pm, travel all night and most of the next day, and spend several hours at MGM Studios before ending up at the hotel sometime after 7 pm. After I check in with the eight girls I am to supervise, I intend to shower and shower and shower. I intend to wear clean clothes and socks and brush my teeth until my toothbrush wears out. Of all the things I could be concerned about on this trip, being dirty seems to weigh heaviest on my mind. One of my eight charges could run off and do bad things with her boyfriend, but I'...