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Listen to This, Would Ya?—More Harpsichord

A few of you—OK, maybe only one or two—asked for more harpsichord, so here is a J. S. Bach prelude from the Well-Tempered Clavier book, well tempered as in well tuned. There are just a few things worse than a piano or harpsichord out of tune. A French horn out of tune, perhaps, or a saxophone.

What's the difference between a lawn mower and a saxophone? You can tune a lawn mower.
How do you get two piccolos to play in perfect unison? Shoot one.
How can you tell if a violin is out of tune? The bow is moving.
How do you get a trombone to sound like a French horn? Stick your hand in the bell and miss every other note.
What's the definition of a gentleman? A man who knows how to play an accordion but doesn't.
What is the range of a tuba? Twenty yards, if you've got a good arm.
Why can't a gorilla play the trumpet? He's too sensitive.

Yes, I know these aren't funny. Nobody ever laughs at them except out of pity, but people keep writing them anyway. Let's put an end to these miserable excuses for jokes and promise never to tell them again.

Why did Mozart kill all of his chicken? Because they kept saying, "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

All right, that's the last one, I swear.


Comments

dive said…
Beautiful music, Robyn.
And hoorah for musician jokes!

Here are a couple of drummer jokes for your collection:

What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer.

What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?

You only need to punch the rhythm into a drum machine once.

Hey ho.
Scout said…
Hey Dive, did you hear the one about the bass player who locked his keys in the car? It took him two hours to get the drummer out.
dive said…
Hee hee hee hee hee!
Gina said…
You crack me up.
Mrs. G. said…
I had no idea there was a whole genre of musician jokes. Funny.
Oh, lovely, lovely Bach! What a great way to start the day. I could be a walking advertisement for music therapy -- noticed my breathing became calm, deep and even during your performance...

My favorite musician joke: What's the definition of perfect pitch? Tossing an accordion into the dumpster without hitting any of the sides.

Don't get me started on choral jokes...

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