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Buried on My iPod

Yesterday, Dive asked us what odd, embarrassing things we might have tucked away on our iPods, audio treasures most people wouldn't bother to add to their collection. I don't have as many recordings on my iPod as I could—I haven't taken the time to buy songs or add songs from CDs I have collected, but when I turn on my iTunes to serve as a soundtrack for working, I wish I had more playlists.

I do have one notable odd recording, though, even for people who like classical music, and even for people who like classical French horn music more specifically. It's called...well, I'm not actually sure it has a name. Mozart composed four horn concertos, and every serious horn student learns them on some level, understanding they will never master the things. The concertos feature the horn, so they don't have lyrics, of course, but this one odd recording is a song written to the third movement of Mozart's fourth horn concerto. Anybody who loves playing the horn every day like I do can appreciate the nature of this song. Here is just a bit of it:

I once had a whim and I had to obey it
To buy a French Horn in a second hand shop;
I polished it up and I started to play it
In spite of the neighbors who begged me to stop.

Oh, the hours I had to spend, before I mastered it in the end.

But that was yesterday and just today I looked in the usual place
There was the case but the horn itself was missing.

Oh, where could it have gone? Haven't you - hasn't anyone seen my horn?
Oh, where could it have gone?
What a blow! Now I know, I'm unable to play my Allegro.

Who swiped my horn? I'll bet you a quid, somebody did,
Knowing I'd found a concerto and wanted to play it,
Afraid of my talent for playing the horn.
Whoever it is I can certainly say it,
He'll probably wish he had never been born.

When I first starting playing the horn, I knew to keep all the doors and windows closed for the sake of the neighbors, but honestly, there is only so much you can do to contain the sound. It's big, and it carries. I prefer to practice in an empty house, but sometimes I have had to play when people are home. I have played in the basement before and was told the floor acted more like a microphone than a buffer. I think the doors and windows do the same, since all my neighbors have asked at one time or another how the practicing is going. They didn't seem to be complaining, although sometimes it's hard to tell. People can be smiling on the outside, and on the inside they're wishing you would take up reading or something else that doesn't make noise. To every one around me, just let me say it could be worse. Here is the last little bit of the odd song:

My neighbor's asleep in his bed.
I'll soon make him wish he were dead.
I'll take up the tuba instead!

Comments

dive said…
Ah, the inimitable Flanders and Swann!
They wrote some wonderful comic songs, Robyn, and were hilariously (if very rudely) lampooned on the Armstrong and Miller Show (in the UK at least).
Very English.
Very silly.
Thank you for diggin out this splendid little gem for us.
Mrs. G. said…
I love this silly little ditty. Yes, the tuba could shut up any complaining that might be going on.
put a mute on that horn will ya. Whenever I play mine at home I do just that. But when nobody else is home I like nothing more than to let out the full sound. Neighbors must love horn players as we tend to keep reapeating the same few measures - over and over and over to get it just right.
Maria said…
Liv plays violin, piano and harmonica. She recently decided to take up the flute as well. She plays it incessantly and I am just short of losing my mind.

It is not a drum.

That is my mantra.
Gina said…
That is funny!

I have never really had any problems with neighbors practicing music. Lucky I guess? Depends on if they were good or bad.

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