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What You Don't Know

Get a load of the spider I found on the lamp at my piano. When I sit down to play, I thoughtlessly reach inside the shade to turn on the light, and then reach in again to turn it off when I'm finished. It doesn't occur to me that I should look in there first because there might be a spider spinning a web that could snare a rabbit. It doesn't occur to me that an eight-legged creature might look at my lamp shade and think it would make the perfect spot to lay enough eggs to furnish the planet with spiders for ages.

I don't know how long the spider was living there or how many times I had unknowingly placed my hand just inches from a thing that frightens me more than other living thing on the planet. On one hand, I think no harm done. On the other hand, now I can't turn on the lamp without stooping down awkwardly and craning my neck so I can see up inside the lamp shade before turning on the lamp. And when I play the piano, I occasionally glance up at the shade to make sure there is nothing crawling around on it, nothing making a nest where it shouldn't.

I think of the phrase "what you don't know won't hurt you." You're afraid of spiders, and having a big one so close to you would cause pandimonium, triggering a chain of events often unseen in the average household. For example, if you're playing the piano, and a larger-than-necessary spider appears, you're likely to jump up and run away, tripping on the piano leg, which jars the piano and knocks the lid down with such force the nearby music stand begins to wobble and teeter until it falls down flat on the floor, causing such a startling noise, the cat is frightened and runs as quickly as he can, scratching the floor with all of his sharp claws, leaving gauges that must be sanded by a professional, and in his haste, the poor guy knocks over every book on the bookshelf, and well...the domino effect would just keep going and going. But if you don't know the larger-than-necessary spider is there, all is well.

But the phrase "what you don't know won't hurt you" is a flawed and unhelpful quip. Even if you aren't aware of a specific threat, you are generally aware threats exists. Even if you don't know there is a giant spider too close for comfort, you know they exist in the world and aren't concerned with your personal space requirements. I may not have known about that hideous spider initially, but I know about it now, and I believe I have been hurt. I am considering removing the shade all together and playing by the light of the bare bulb. Crawl on that, you bastard.

Comments

dive said…
Wow! Cute, Robyn!
A female wolf spider big enough to fit a leash on and take for walks.

What kind of lazy-assed fools are Tiger and Mike if they haven't munched this delicious mobile cat food yet?
I think they need to be introduced.
Scout said…
Tiger would have fun with something like this, but Mike would hide under the bed for two days if confronted by it.
peahen said…
that's never a real one, is it?.... As you know I'd rather steel myself and rescue any creature rather than see it murdered, but this...
Scout said…
Yikes, Peahen. No, it isn't real. I stole it from Dive's site as the most hideous spider I have ever seen. The actual spider on my lamp shade was not nearly as man-eating, but still...
Fresh Hell said…
Gah! For a fleeting moment I was thinking, they don't have spiders that big in Ohio . . . do they . . . . Then I came to my senses.

I once was driving into the Santa Ynez wine country to go camping with friends and the road started looking funny. I stopped the car and opened the door to pop my head out and investigate the road a little better, only to find that the road looked funny because it was covered in tarantulas. It made for a difficult falling asleep in the tent.

I don't usually get bug squeemish . . . unless they are really big. Brrrr!
When I was a kid I used to catch spiders and cut all their legs off and then watch them try to navigate. Then I saw the Alfred Hitchcock episode wear the spider comes back to get revenge on this guy who flushed it down the tub drain ~ made me think twice.

~sick huh?
Scout said…
Rich, was that Hitchock or Night Gallery? I remember an unkind man being trapped in his apartment with a spider the size of his kitchen chairs, but because he was mean to his lonely neighbor, no one would help him. Haunting.
I may hve gotten them mixed up but I really think it was hitchcock. The spider was washed down the tub drain and then reappeared the size of a small car and smothered the guy or something like that.
Anonymous said…
All of this talk of car-sized spiders and such has me squirming...double yuk!!
Dive is right...my cats love pawing at and taunting the small variety sometimes found in a corner.
PF
Gina said…
Wow, you really do hate spiders, don't you? Even after Charlotte's Web?
Anonymous said…
Oooh Robyn. My stomach just turned over. I think it was this type of spider that bit me once on my thigh. It hurt for a year!

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