Because I sometimes have trouble saying "no," I hosted another candle party yesterday. I did that for the first time ever last January and agreed to do it one more time. I have a good friend who said she wouldn't attend because she "isn't a home party person." I'm not either, so I completely understood, but I actually had fun with this one. Ten women sitting around smelling candles, giggling, and eating pie--a ladies' afternoon.
When I was growing up, in a conservative Baptist church, women were referred to as Ladies. There were Ladies' teas and ladies' lunches and ladies' trios. It was a term of respect, in some ways, but it was also a term that set proper women apart from the trashy sluts who wore too much makeup, kissed their boyfriends in public, and crossed their legs when they shouldn't.
A true lady does not cross her legs in a job interview. A true lady does not put on her lipstick at the table. A true lady does not participate in public displays of affection. Once, my mother caught me kissing my drummer boyfriend on the street in front of her office. I swear it was a simple peck, but you'd think it was something much worse. All the way home, I had to listen to a lecture about how bad that was, how trashy I looked--I was not very lady-like. I suppose I would not have been permitted to sing in the ladies' trio.
As an adult, I was part of a quartet in my own church for a while. We struggled to figure out what to call ourselves--I was happy with "Woman's Quartet," if you had to specify at all. I argued that "Ladies' Quartet" sounded like my mom, like everyone's mom, like we should all have huge beehives on our heads, wear pastel pumps, and lug around giant matching handbags. The men's singing group wasn't called the Gentlemen's Quartet, so why did the one made up of women need to be qualified? There wasn't a Slut's Quartet on the schedule. Their rendition of The Old Rugged Cross would have been something to hear for sure.
I used to work with an editor who practiced what she called "Ladies Patrol." She would purge all of the manuscripts she worked with of the words "lady" and "ladies." It seems an archaic term that serves no purpose in today's society. I tend to agree, but I can see why someone would look at my 81-year-old mother with her pristine Sunday clothes and her perfectly matched shoes and her handbags and think "lady."
So, yesterday, women were at my house, and we had a great time. It was a "ladies" afternoon to some, but for me, it was just fun. And I got to eat pie.
When I was growing up, in a conservative Baptist church, women were referred to as Ladies. There were Ladies' teas and ladies' lunches and ladies' trios. It was a term of respect, in some ways, but it was also a term that set proper women apart from the trashy sluts who wore too much makeup, kissed their boyfriends in public, and crossed their legs when they shouldn't.
A true lady does not cross her legs in a job interview. A true lady does not put on her lipstick at the table. A true lady does not participate in public displays of affection. Once, my mother caught me kissing my drummer boyfriend on the street in front of her office. I swear it was a simple peck, but you'd think it was something much worse. All the way home, I had to listen to a lecture about how bad that was, how trashy I looked--I was not very lady-like. I suppose I would not have been permitted to sing in the ladies' trio.
As an adult, I was part of a quartet in my own church for a while. We struggled to figure out what to call ourselves--I was happy with "Woman's Quartet," if you had to specify at all. I argued that "Ladies' Quartet" sounded like my mom, like everyone's mom, like we should all have huge beehives on our heads, wear pastel pumps, and lug around giant matching handbags. The men's singing group wasn't called the Gentlemen's Quartet, so why did the one made up of women need to be qualified? There wasn't a Slut's Quartet on the schedule. Their rendition of The Old Rugged Cross would have been something to hear for sure.
I used to work with an editor who practiced what she called "Ladies Patrol." She would purge all of the manuscripts she worked with of the words "lady" and "ladies." It seems an archaic term that serves no purpose in today's society. I tend to agree, but I can see why someone would look at my 81-year-old mother with her pristine Sunday clothes and her perfectly matched shoes and her handbags and think "lady."
So, yesterday, women were at my house, and we had a great time. It was a "ladies" afternoon to some, but for me, it was just fun. And I got to eat pie.
Comments
As for your party, I'm not sure about the "smelling candles" part (being anosmic), but I like the idea of sitting around giggling and eating pie. Yum!
You crack me up Scout, in fact my lap top almost slid off my lap.
PF