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What's in Your Yard?

In my yard, I've got an assortment of bushes and trees but mostly grass. When my kids were little, they each had a little stone bird nestled in the mulch in the front yard, and because the landscapers don't want to throw them away, the little birds keep getting moved around here and there. I think the girls don't even remember they ever had birds.

One thing we have never had is a lawn ornament. I wouldn't mind something like a bird feeder or a bench beside a tree or ...I'm stuck on the word "or" because I can't think of anything I would like to have in my yard.

There is a popular lawn ornament in my part of the country. It's actually more like a front stoop ornament because they usually sit right by the front door. People here seem to like geese. They set a foot-high cement goose on their front porch, and it guards the door. More often than not, it guards the door while wearing clothes.

An entire industry has developed around these clothes, because you can't just have one outfit for your goose. You have to have outfits for specific occasions and hobbies and occupations that interest you. It follows, then, that you would also need storage space in your house for all of the clothes--I imagine a designated closet space just for the goose. And if your goose has all the accessories, like wigs and glasses and umbrellas, then you would need to set aside a drawer in your bedroom dresser. You might choose the drawer next to the one that holds all the clothes belonging to your Chihuahua . Here are some ideas for dressing your goose:

Your goose as a hula dancer.

Your goose as a race-car driver.

Your goose as a snorkler.

And as a touch of irony, your goose as pink flamingo.

Comments

dive said…
Hee hee hee, Robyn. That is one of the most insane things I have ever seen.

Because I'm never home to look after it my back garden (English for Yard) is now a nature reserve, overgrown with trees and full of wildlife.
I keep the front lawn neat for the neighbours' sake, but I love being in my jungle in the evenings with hedgehogs snuffling around my feet and bats feeding around my head.
Lovely.

And not a goose in drag to be seen.
Scout said…
For the record, Dive, I don't have a goose in drag in my yard or on my porch.. I also don't have bats feeding around my head if I can help it.
dive said…
Bats are cute; those geese are scary!
How about a cooked goose?
Grass is in my back garden, Robyn, pure and simple. Couple of climbers too, Clematis and that's all. Like Dive, no time for anything else, sadly. Oh and a good old pub bench.
Alifan said…
Lots of hard work in mine, but love my garden.....

Pop onto my blog Robyn and you can see Somerleyton's back garden...
Anonymous said…
I kind of like the goose.
I have a concrete cat in my front garden, just a little one but the only kind of cat I'll accept.
The yard at the back of teh house is a dedicated minefield of holes that Joey has dug over the months.Not a kennel in sight for the three puppies, they sleep on what was once a crisp snow white lounge which is now covered in tiny paw prints.
The agapantha's once flourished but again joey thinks these are toys and rips them out as he does with the baby palm tree's on the patio.
Perhaps I'll do a dead yard series later in the summer and see if i can't bring it back to life.
Chaos reins supreme.
Then again i rarely step into the backyard in summer, afraid to meet up with a brown snake which have become increasingly urban over the last few years.
Sassy Sundry said…
Wow. I thought gnomes were bad.

It sounds like you aren't flooded. That's a relief.
Sassy you brought up a good piont I don't get that whole gnome thing. I have a neighbor who has them all over her front lawn -to me... they look crazy - but what do I know?
Gina said…
We don't have the geese here, but I think the outfits are hilarious.

But, perhaps I wouldn't like them as much if they were in everyone's yard.
Maria said…
I'm like Dive. Our front yard is neatly manicured with a crab apple tree and a bench made entirely of stones. And ok...we have three gnomes. A gag gift from a friend who never thought I would DARE to have them. I not only put them out, I named the fuckers.

In our backyard is a naked lady birdbath (came with the house), a naked boy statue holding a bird (came with the house, so no...we don't have a thing about nakedness), a rock waterfall, Liv's treehouse and sandbox, my gardens (herb and vegetable) and a hedge of lilacs. Also moon flowers, bachelor's buttons, moss roses, pansies, flowering clematis and a shed with a bat house hooked up to it. We are bat fans around here....
Anonymous said…
They are cute but in Adelaide we have real "Jaba" geese. Have a look at our blog and click on hills or maison tags and you will see our back yard. Come on Robyn, take a look!

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