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Squish

I stepped on a frog. No, not like that. I mean literally, I stepped on a frog. A toad, actually.

I had opened my garage door and walked outside in the dark, and I felt a spray of something wet and unpleasant splash my knee like someone had spit on me. I actually looked around to see who would have done such a thing. But what happened was, I stepped on a toad. He was unluckily sitting on my driveway, right where I placed my size-9 shoe, and when my giant black Born sandal smashed his tiny warty frame, his bodily fluids shot out all over my pants, and his internal organs shot out his back end.

Daughter No. 2 brought out a flash light so we could all marvel at the various parts--liver, kidney, large intestines, small intestines--she recognized them all from science class. I mourned for the poor guy, amazed that my big foot could do such damage but grateful the thing died a quick death. It was when I was expressing this sentiment that he moved his little tongue and tried to hop away. But with his insides stuck to the cement, he couldn't budge, and all we could do was watch him wiggle in place.

We thought about putting him out of his misery, but no one wanted to whack him on the head. It was all just too horrific, and all because I didn't look at the ground while I walked. I prefer to look up, especially on a dark and starry night with a bright moon that was nearly full. I bet the toad wished he had done the same.

Comments

Sassy Sundry said…
I did that once as a little girl. I cried for an hour.
dive said…
Wow!
Yesterday we had ranty Robyn; today, gory toad-slaughterer Robyn.
Ick!
I suppose you could have scraped him up for a sandwich.
Forget the damn toad - what about your poor sandals?
Scout said…
Sassy, I didn't cry over this one--I kept telling myself he didn't have much of a brain and merely acted on instinct and had no soul and didn't care if he lived or died. I spent some time making myself feel better.

Dive, ew. I was surprised to see him still there this morning. I was sure that vulture that has been lurking in the street would have had a snack.

Rich, my sandals were fine, oddly. A little wiping off on the grass did the trick.
Gina said…
Oh man, that would have freaked me out. And then to see it again in broad daylight, I'm not sure I could have handled it.
Miz Minka said…
Oh, poor toad, and poor Robyn! When I still lived in the country I hated driving home in the rain at night after choir practice, because the roads would be full of little frogs and toads, and I felt bad for running over them. But as you said: at least it was quick. Yuck. :(
Anonymous said…
You've just joined the league of Old K, a never to be read while eating breakfast post.
ewwwww
Alifan said…
Oh Robyn.... I do feel for you well and the toad!!!but when I sometimes let Oscar out at 3am, I have notn in the past put my specs on and no lights, but have stood on so many things in the dark, mainly snails!!! and walked through spiders webs, that I now put the light and my specs on before venturing outside, I did manage to miss the hedgehog the other night, but had to go and put gloves on and remove it, otherwise Oscar would have got a prickled nose and many fleas!!!!
Maria said…
Oh, man...you have some karma set loose now.

Watch those skies for giants....
Anonymous said…
Dressy sandals?
Unknown said…
Did you have very similar results,compared
to Robins incident?
Unknown said…
I think everyone should step on
at least one frog or toad,,and experience how it feels, and sound's when they practicly explode under your foot.

Its quite an experience stepping on a huge toad, and seeing all of it's insides explode out of both ends.... which ive seen on more than a few occasions. Lol
Unknown said…
I felt bad the first time, but after my pretty girlfriend convinced me that it was just a big bug, then preceded to squish & pop the 7 that she rounded up earlier into unrecognizable a mush.
That was right before we had some of best sex, we both ever had.
She later joked that no man before me, was even close to my size....and Kermit was a big reason👠🐸💥


Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said…
I once stepped on a frog with my barefoot. I was in a pool in a friend's house, it was nighttime so was dark and as I was getting out if the pool felt something kind of rubbery under my foot. So I stopped and looked down and there was the frog but by then it was too late. When I stepped on it my foot crushed the frog flat, think only thing left was its head and one of it's legs. It was so disgusting, wished frog would have jumped out of my way before I stepped on it!
Unknown said…
10/10/2020 I never would've thought I would agree with the guy who's girlfriend squished 7 toads or frogs, but when I lived in a large apartment complex 2 pools 2 gyms 2 tennis courts and 2 ponds actually 1 pond was right in back of my apartment and in close proximity to 1 pool during multiple days of heavy rain the frogs would get in the pool and either die at the bottom or get caught in the strainers, and my room mate was being a wuss and wouldn't go into the pool till I removed the frogs some were dead some just hopped away others were almost dead thought it was best to do a mercy killing and put them out of their misery but couldn't find any big rocks surprisingly the worse thing about the barefoot squish was only the anxiety leading up to it and I know this will sound disgusting but the frogs squirting between the toes was actually quite pleasurable,like I said it would sound gross but after flattening like 40 or 50 I can kinda understand why people might be into this :)

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