I really was raised in a paranoid environment--paranoid because around every corner lurked an evil just waiting to grasp at the heart of the unwatchful. Every word or deed had the potential to be sinful, and everyone in the news had the potential to be the anti-Christ. All of that fear and scowling can really do a job on a kid.
My mother had a collection of Reader's Digest condensed books on the shelf in the family room, and stuck in between all the fiction that had been cleared of all the unnecessary adjectives was a family health dictionary/encyclopedia. You would go to this reference book if you had a rash you couldn't identify, or as my father used to moan when he didn't want to have to go to church, if you had a "crick in your ribs."
I don't think I ever found that vague phrase for physical discomfort in the encyclopedia, but I did find all kinds of other interesting things. One day, as a kid flipping through the pages, I found a section on hernias. I had never heard the term before and had no idea what it was. I was sure it was bad. I was sure it was something sinful, and it frightened me. If my mother caught me reading about something as wicked as a hernia, she would get me with the fly swatter for sure. So I ripped out the entire section. It must have been 20 pages. Because those books were manufactured kind of cheaply--with glue instead of stitching--it was pretty easy. I buried the offensive material in the bottom of the trash can and put that dangerous book back on the shelf. I never told a soul.
Later on, when my mother pulled out the book to see how to treat a charlie horse (my father never had normal ailments), she found this gaping hole in the H section. She was furious. Who ripped this book up?!?! She stormed through the house wondering why anyone in their right mind would purposefully damage a book like the medical encyclopedia and then lie about it.
To this day, she has no idea who did it and why. She has no idea that filling her little daughter's head with the potential for evil made her afraid of a word like hernia. I have since learned that hernias aren't sinful and reading about them won't condemn me to hell, but I do hope I never have one.
My mother had a collection of Reader's Digest condensed books on the shelf in the family room, and stuck in between all the fiction that had been cleared of all the unnecessary adjectives was a family health dictionary/encyclopedia. You would go to this reference book if you had a rash you couldn't identify, or as my father used to moan when he didn't want to have to go to church, if you had a "crick in your ribs."
I don't think I ever found that vague phrase for physical discomfort in the encyclopedia, but I did find all kinds of other interesting things. One day, as a kid flipping through the pages, I found a section on hernias. I had never heard the term before and had no idea what it was. I was sure it was bad. I was sure it was something sinful, and it frightened me. If my mother caught me reading about something as wicked as a hernia, she would get me with the fly swatter for sure. So I ripped out the entire section. It must have been 20 pages. Because those books were manufactured kind of cheaply--with glue instead of stitching--it was pretty easy. I buried the offensive material in the bottom of the trash can and put that dangerous book back on the shelf. I never told a soul.
Later on, when my mother pulled out the book to see how to treat a charlie horse (my father never had normal ailments), she found this gaping hole in the H section. She was furious. Who ripped this book up?!?! She stormed through the house wondering why anyone in their right mind would purposefully damage a book like the medical encyclopedia and then lie about it.
To this day, she has no idea who did it and why. She has no idea that filling her little daughter's head with the potential for evil made her afraid of a word like hernia. I have since learned that hernias aren't sinful and reading about them won't condemn me to hell, but I do hope I never have one.
Comments
Hernias may not be sinful but they hurt like Hell, Robyn (apparently).
And I know just what your Father meant when he complained of a "crick" in the ribs. It's a pretty accurate description.
Though you are going to have to explain to me what a "Charlie Horse" is … and how to treat it, too!
That bit about the encyclopedia is hysterical.
Dive, a charlie horse is a strained muscle, and it hurts like a mofo.
It wa sina word horrific and far worse than any horror moie I have ever sat through. It gave me nightmares for months and I lost all respect for the church. When I think back on it there were kids far younger than me there and i can only wonder how much it affected them.
Fear can be a powerful motivator and it motivated me right out of the church altogether.
You're right about that kind of thing freaking out little kids. It's like Jonathan Edwards all over again.