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The Growing Gray Naturally Club

There is a model in the JJill catalog (my favorite source for clothes)--she is older than your typical model who shows off clothes meant for 30- and 40-somethings. She has long gray hair, and she is a natural beauty. My mother would suggest she cut her hair and get a nice lovely perm, but this woman is what she is. She is my hero.

My hair is graying rather quickly, and against the wishes of my hairdresser, I will not color it. Neither will my friend J whose hair is just as gray. Neither will my friend C whose hair is white. It's doing exactly what it's supposed to be doing, and what it's doing isn't bad. It isn't bad to allow your hair to be its natural color. It isn't bad to allow a few laugh lines to mark your face with some signs of life. And it isn't bad to allow gravity to do it's thing here and there. This notion of remaining 30 or younger well into your 60s is an odd one, and I reject it.

I have heard people defend all the things they do to themselves in order to appear younger by saying there is nothing wrong with trying to look your best. Well, of course there isn't. But who said 20- or 30-something is the best? I kind of the like the 40s, and I suspect I will like the 50s just as well, unless I go bald or something hideous. That might be the test of how natural I am willing to be.

Anyway, I am a member of the Growing Gray Naturally Club, a loose association I founded with two of my dearest friends--all lovely women who are absolutely beautiful, and their hair is gray. We hold up the JJill model as our standard, and we welcome the progression of age with all of its distinct features. Join us, why don't you.

Comments

dive said…
I'd love to join you, Robyn, but my hair seems resolutely determined to stay its natural colour.
Mind you, a lot of it has been running away while I'm not looking. I think I'll join the growing bald naturally club instead.
And yes, I am looking forward to my 50s; most of my 40s sucked!
No thanks. lol bit blunt i know but i prefer to just stay my natural (with tiny bit of help now and then) auburn. I'll probably be welcoming help ad infinitum ... but good luck with your group! Whatever anyone feels comfortable with is right in my book and i'm sure you all look fab. How about a photo of the three of you? Oh, go on!
Ms Mac said…
The urge to cut off all my hair really, really short just to see exactly how grey I am is almost overwhelming at the moment. I am unnaturally grey for my age, you see.

I must admit though, I do prefer a woman with very grey hair to have it cut well above shoulder level.

Give me a couple more years and I may join you in your club. I'm just not ready yet.
Utsav said…
I'm in the growing bald naturally club with Dive- and not because i shaved my head! My family has a history of baldness, and I currently hold the record for Youngest Baldy in it.
There's a family joke that Mum fell in love with Dad with his cap on, which he took off only after they were married. I'm thinking along similar lines :)
Sassy Sundry said…
I've seen that model. She IS beautiful.

My friends and I have vowed that we will dye our hair punk-rock colors and wap people with our canes when we get old.
GG said…
I love your approach, Robyn. I'm heading back to the hairdressers this week for my 6-weekly touch up of the grey hairs that are a bit too 'salt'n'peppery' for my liking - especially living in a world of glossy black. If I was at home I'd probably let it ride. The older I get, the more I want people to see that that's me.
Gravity bits and all.
Gina said…
I am turning prematurely gray. Now, having a four year old and gray hair just doesn't sit with me.

When I'm older, I will be fine with it, but I'm not even forty yet!
Anonymous said…
Well I certainly hope you don't go bald!
Anonymous said…
You have lovely natural color and a very hip cut for going silvery.

I do wonder how my poor mom {who turns 60 at the end of the month} will ever subtly transition from her brilliant auburn.

By choosing life with a fella ten years my junior, I do feel I need to insure folks don't think he's holding hands with his much older sister but I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well, my hair is what they call salt and pepper these days - I think it's more pepper than salt still. I know the model you're talking about as I like to browse the jJill catalog with my wife of course. My wife has since found a store that better fits her age and style "cold Water creek" or Chico's is good too.

anyway, do you accept men in your group?
oh BTW I like the age I am I've never felt better and more comfortable in my own skin.

Thanks for such a fitting post for all us graying 40 somethings
oops i didn't know you were married, Rich! I wouldn't have been going on about Rosa otherwise. My apologies, i just wouldn't have done that.

You don't look in the least bit grey! I think you're kidding us.
Miz Minka said…
Well, that's what I used to want...but then I started going gray in my 30s and it made me look even more washed out. So I decided that since I had always wanted to be a redhead, now was the time. Been one ever since and love it!

Maybe when my roots are all silver I'll whack of my hair and start over... For now, my natural color is an ugly mishmash of dishwater-brown/blond and gray. No thanks. More power to you if you can stick with staying gray! You go, Robyn!
Scout said…
Yeah, well, Dive, I don't want to exclude men but I don't know many men who die their hair anyway, except Ronald Reagan, and he's dead.

Lynn and Ms Mac, I know salt and pepper isn't for everyone. I am embracing it. I'm also afraid that if I color my hair, I'll forget about it and wake up one day two-toned at the roots.

Utsav, maybe we should start that Bald club, and then men can join too.

Sassy, now when I'm really old, maybe it will be a different story--going extreem with cherry red hair instead of a stupid red hat, maybe.

GG, I hadn't thought about what it would be like in Tokyo--I'm now wondering if I have ever seen a Japanese woman with gray hair. hmm.

NO, Gina! Don't give in. Think of it as chic.

Hey, look. It's Janiebelle. Hope all is well.

Shannon, thinking of you as the sister reminds me of how you were "the other mother" during band events. Ha.

Rich, being comfortable in your own skin is a great phrase. And I think that is true the older I get--part of why I don't care about the hair.

Miz Minka, welcome! And thanks for the link. Being a redhead is chic--I'm still sticking to my salt and pepper, though.

Now, after all of these replies, I am exhausted.
Anonymous said…
Hi, Robyn! Gee, I'm practically hyperventilating. This is the first blog comment I've written...unless you count the loooong one I left on our diocesan general convention last June when I had way too much sake and was involved in a huge project of painting the dining room and wrote an allegory, addressed to Dan, of the whole anglican communion being shades of one color and coming to dinner at our house and, well, having too much sake...

I admire that J Jill model -- and J Jill for having her (we're getting a store in Stockton and I hope to find on their clearance rack the kind of things she wears -- or I'd settle for her cast-offs...). I've been coloring my hair red - really don't like the chemicals, but it's fun for now. The inner California hippie in me wants to honor the gray, rejoice in it, and even prefer it to anything that seems like I'd rather be young and foolish.

Your blog is awesome!!!!!!

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