Sign Me Up

When George Bailey was a kid and working for Mr. Gower, he strapped on his apron, scooped up some chocolate ice cream for Mary, and at hearing she didn't like coconut, was piqued. He pulled out the latest National Geographic to show her there was a wide world to explore, full of coconut--Tahiti, Fiji, the Coral Sea. Mary had never heard of this "new magazine." George: "Of course you never. Only us explorers can get it. I've been nominated for membership in the National Geographic Society."

Society: a voluntary association of individuals for common ends.

We certainly have formed a lot of those, haven't we? For all of our chest-beating about being independent, masters of our own destiny, we do seem to have a driving need to belong to a larger group. And if we can't find one that is just right, we make one up and call it a society.

There's one for every possible profession--doctors, lawyers, bakers, chemists, teachers, nurses--they've all got societies. There are societies all over the world for people with cancer or MS or bipolar disorders. Any illness you can dream up has a society. Anybody with any kind of vocational interest, like painting or carving or collaging, can join up with other people who paint or carve or collage.

I was a member of the International Horn Society myself for about a year, and it only cost $30. I got a card to carry in my purse, a quarterly publication, and the ability to say, "I'm a member of the International Horn Society." As a friend said, I also got the privilege of being a true horn dork.

People who like to cook with a Dutch oven can join the International Dutch Oven Society. They share recipes, sponsor cooking classes, and host forums. Their motto is, "Good Food, Good Friends, and Good Fun." I've never made anything in a Dutch oven that didn't come out looking like dog food (same is true for the crock pot), so I'm not sure how fun this group would be.

Poets can join the International Society for Dead Poetry. "We say the only good poem is a dead poem, and if they have any life left in them, we bludgeon them to death with an axe." They don't really bludgeon them. They actually promote an appreciation for what they call "dead" poems.

And there is the International Black Sheep Society of Genealogists made up of people who have unearthed "black sheep" in their family tree. The members of IBSSG share recipes, talk about genealogy on a message board, and post their poetry on their website. Here's one:

"Heredity"
By "Grandpa Tucker"

I saw a duck the other day.
It had the feet of my Aunt Faye.
Then it walked, was heading South.
It waddled like my Uncle Ralph....

There is more, but you get the point.

We like to belong--officially. Here is a short list of other societies to fill your take-me-in-and-be-my-friend need:

International Palm Society • International Headache Society • Emily Dickenson International Society • International Society of Organbuilders • International Ghost Hunters Society • International Society for Animal Hygiene • International Society for Asphalt Pavements • International Society for Breath Odor Research • International Society for Bible Collectors • International Joan of Arc Society • Society of International Railway Travelers

My daughter once said that I was the headquarters for the Bad Mother Society for making a sandwich with moldy bread. I didn't want to hold that office, but if I were to start my own societies:

Society for Arachnaphobes • Use Your Turn Signal or Die Society • The International Society for Gray Hair • The Bitter Sweet Chocolate Society • The Society for Strong-and-Black Coffee Drinkers—tag line: the coffee, not necessarily the drinkers • The "George Bailey, I'll love you till the day I die" Society